Love is one of our most fundamental needs. It is the lifeblood of our uplifting emotions. When we feel love, we feel alive. When we feel starved of it, we close up and effectively die, or kill others, or at least make life miserable — and not just for ourselves. For those of us who get lucky, it can go so far as feeling like the culmination or purpose of life: many times over, if we understand it well.

It is love that makes us feel that all is well with our world, that we are truly not alone, that we are secure, cared for, safe, and cherished by a family member, friend, colleague, (or God for some people) or a partner who can appreciate and participate in our space with both the laughter and the tears. It is when at least one person can make us feel at home, free to be vulnerable, and create fond memories to share.  When we have someone around who believes in us, trusts us, is there for us — then we flourish: we can grow, learn, create possibilities, experience success, and look forward to and create a future.

We have heard it many times before: there is no point sitting on a fortune in a mansion empty of love. We can have all the things money can buy, all the education, power, and status make possible, but it all becomes meaningless without love. A healthy relationship both with ourselves and with at least one other are two of the top intentions we aspire to, to lead a happy and fulfilled life.

For once, you believed in yourself. you believed you were beautiful and
so did the rest of the world. ― Sarah Dessen, Keeping the Moon

Love is a many faceted gem that we value, seek, and sometimes find. Its allure is manifested in books, films, art, music, dance, literature, drama — all the expressions of human life. Love is required for our wellbeing. It matters because it is the glue of relationships that makes other relationships possible.

Sadly, when we don’t understand love, it can be a very painful experience. We often put so many obstacles in the way of love and have so many unrealistic perceptions pertaining to love that love cannot satisfy. This is when love becomes a painful experience. I’m thinking here of the expectations we put on love: that it will solve everything, every loss in our lives. “If I only had love (substitute happiness) then…”

Whilst love is indeed very powerful and can help us to overcome many adversities, and dull many a pain, it has its limitations — but they are born from our own limitations — our inability to understand what love is and how to give it a life. Like any other substance or experience that feeds the brain with rewards, we get addicted to love. And sometimes we just want to wallow in self-pity when it doesn’t turn out how we expect it to. However we may experience it, love can be a very emphatic, effective, though painful teacher.